Well, my friends, it has been a February. Dad went into the hospital on Feb 3 and I stayed with him from the 4th on until we decided to take him home on the 7th as there was nothing they could do for him. He had pneumonia and was still insisting on ice and water, knowing that every drop was going into his lungs, not into his tummy. He knew us and talked to us some when he felt like it, and when they stopped monitoring for signs of improvement, Marcia, Kevin and I decided to take him home where he wanted to be. Mom met him at the door and gave him a kiss, and as soon as his body hit his bed, he was gone. It was heart rendering, this was the only father I have ever known, and 34 years was just not enuf of him, but it was also relief, he is no longer suffering, and now he can eat, he can sing and he can make anything he wants in heaven. He was an exceptional Christian man with a strong will and a physical prescence like no other, well, there may be two more. Josh is so much like him, Kevin had become so close to him seing him daily or at the least every other day for the past two years. This is why we came here, to look after Mom and Dad, and be there for them. Now we have just her left, she has handled this all a little too well. She has yet to let herself mourn, or to think about what is next. Altho she did mention an Alaskan Cruise!
All the grandkids were here but Ani, bless her heart, she was ill and in Salt Lake City. We sure missed her, I was so glad she talked to her granddaddy the night before he passed on the phone, he said love you, and tears ran from his eyes. Marcia and I told him to go and stop suffering, we spent the nights with him together and for the first time in many years became close. I felt so lost when he was gone, I looked around and just felt empty, poor Kevin was so forlorn, we just held each other and cried.
I think of him now, and I see him singing at the top of his lungs with no wetness in his lungs to hold him back, I see him standing tall and running along, lifting weights and smiling and talking to everyone. That is how he was when I met him, in his 30's and 40's. A superb swimmer and athlete in his own way, making stained glass and clocks, in his basement room lifting weights, I know he is at peace and feeling fine now!
But the things we do not understand............why him, why now, how to move on with Mom, what to do next. I really am desiring my own place, I wish it could be in the woods by the water, a little cabin where we could just be. I am in Danville, with Laura, where I go to hide when all is not well in my world. Kevin is busy helping Todd & Belle with Jimmy's house, and he is coming down tomorrow to do some things here for Laura, and talk to her landlord. The renter in SAT ran on us and that house payment is 3 months behind. Another loan to pull it out of the gutter, and away from Wells Fargo. We do this over and over and for some reason we never realize that as long as we are doing the same things----------we can only expect the same result. I would love to go to Buxton with Todd and Belle for a week, I hope that this spring will bring relief for us both and we can have some enjoyment this summer. Kevin and I will be going to Florida at the end of March, I have Dr.s appointment and need refills, and we need a break from here. I hope to leave Sweet pea here then, and not have to wory about him down there, if only he would stay with Josh!
This is our week to learn how to use the wood lathe, if the house gets done and on the market. I got Kevin some books and a video from the library about it, and Gail brought him another one from Uncle Bill. It is a Toastmaster and very, very old! But like brand new!
This is what I see when I leave my room:
Sweet Pea and Laura
Does this really look like a Sweet pea to you??
We went to Lynchburg and went yarn shopping on Saturday. I tried really hard to behave, but the first shop had Rowan Summer Tweed on clearance for $4.00/skein so I bought one of each color to go towards my summer sweater when I get all the colors together!
Then we went to Backstitches, and it was awesome! A brick home that every room was full of yarn and supplies, they really need a website, I told the owner I would do one for her! She had some wonderful yarns, I got another Ranco, the blue based one, 3 free pattern books, one skein of Noro Silk Blossom in blues and greens for doing a simple hat (came with free pattern) and two variagated skeins of Dark Horse, one with greys and dark reds and one with---------wanna guess? ........................................yes, purples! Which makes me itch to go and knit, so adios my friends!!
Oh, I am on number 10 in the Stephanie Plum mysteries!!
